I need glasses. WAIT!!!!! I need WHAT?

     Why glasses?  One of the reason I'm writing about this is being an illustrator means I am drawing all the time, making art, creating stories from manuscripts and ideas from clients. It's important that you are able to read your emails and see what you are making. Sounds quite simple, right? it's not so easy as you think when your mind and body are standing on opposite sides.

     Lately I've been resisting the idea that I need glasses.  I've worn them since I was a kid till my 30's when I had a sudden revelation that I've worn it long enough, so by now I should have 20/20 vision. The optometrist and I spend hours going back and forth disagreeing on the results of my eye tests.  Where the hell did he get his degree? He blamed my resistance, I blamed him for his crap discounted machines and bad degree. (Of course, his machines were all high end but in my mind it was all his fault).  I knew my eyes better then him so I stopped wearing them.  I threw them in a box, stuffed it into the storage and I've not seen them since. 

     As far as I was concern, I had 20/20 vision.  Everything was clearer depending on what I was looking at. That's when I discovered selective vision.  My definition of selective vision is deciding to see only what you want and the rest stays blur or visually out of sight. This discovery have helped me out of trouble and confrontations in more ways then one.  And as long as I'm not driving or cycling, I do not need them.  I can identify my children from their smells and loud voices.  I've got my groceries down to A-Z.  I have walked/cycled the same path for the last few years taking my children to school and know my way around the city.  And I've got my secret weapon: using my spider senses to steer me in the right direction with some help of my husband who sometimes puts his arms around my shoulder and say "honey, this way, you've been looking at the wrong direction".

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     The point I'm trying to make is in the last few weeks, I've find myself squinting when I'm trying to read a map, book, directions  the text on my phone. I feel like a secret agent attempting to decipher the letter whether it looks like an "a" or "e". By the time I'm done, I'm sweating buckets and I still have five more letters to decipher. Okay, I'm exaggerating but still it's getting to the point where I'm thinking, I've to go to my optometrist/enemy to have my eyes checked again.  Maybe it's just the late nights working and staring at the computer, reading the manuscripts, having tired eyes that's making me doubt my super 20/20 vision. My pride tells me I can wait cause just the other day I was able to read an entire page without squinting so I'm still okay.  I'm resisting, I know.

     Whether it's resisting  the changes in my eye sight, the  backache,  who knows.  Isn't it a state of mind anyways?  If you think you are young, you stay young.

     BUT I realize that I'm not 18 anymore and I can fight it as much as I want but I won't be able to stop the change. Next to my kids and husband,  making art is something I love and have done all my life since I was a toddler. I can't imagine not being able to see what I'm doing.  So when the time comes and if I have to visit my beloved optometrist, I will do so.  Do whatever it takes as long as you can get back to your drawing board but always take care of your body because without it, you can't do anything else.

Till the next time.